I am not her - Deep and dark blue at the same time (19.)

"Come sit down." Michael's hands began to led her to the white high chair that stood by the window.

"Just take it slow." She felt his right hand move down to her waist. Ann's heart did a painful somersault at that moment.

"Lean on me!" His voice suddenly seemed sensual to her... Anna shook her head at her inappropriate thinking, but the movement caused her vision to blur a little.

"I'm fine," she cooed. Unfortunately, her voice wasn't as convincing as she thought. He said nothing in response and led her to a chair.

 

 

'"Sit down slowly!" Just as she obeyed him and did what he almost commanded, she felt a sense of relief, and the world slowly stopped spinning with her. She closed her eyes for a small moment and leaned her head against the high back.

"Tell me, how long have you been going full throttle?" He spoke in a tone where there was clear concern. Anna had no plans to answer him. But once again, Michael proved he understood her without words and answered himself.

"You're going to ruin yourself!" There was a sudden tenderness in his voice that surprised Anna slightly. It almost seemed... But no, that's stupid! He can't have me all the time... No, that's stupid!

 

 

Anna's thoughts were interrupted the moment she felt a warm touch on her hand, which was resting on the armrest. Her hearing picked up the crackle of the knuckle, and the smell of peppermint was suddenly a little closer again.

"It helps me not to have black thoughts, and besides, debt doesn't pay for itself," she spoke, letting a sort of coldness come through in her voice.

"Still so hard on myself, and especially not letting anyone near me." Michael's rather quiet words made Anna open her eyes. The man was squatting against her. There was so much pain in his gaze it almost took her breath away.

"It's for the best," she choked out.

"And if I let anyone near me, it will be disastrous. Either I hurt him, or he dies!" The last word was barely audible. There was a sepulchral silence in which they stared into each other's eyes, neither saying anything, for the past was a very painful subject for both of them, and neither willingly opened the door to her.

"I'm going to make you some coffee and get you a donut at least. You need to get some sugar in you," he spoke when the silence between them had been too long.

Anna knew he had something else to say to her, but the words didn't seem to want to leave his mouth.

He stared at her for a moment longer. She got the feeling while looking that he wanted to see her to the bottom of her soul. She had a tendency to start going crazy at that moment, just like when she came into her teenage years. Back then, all his looks had seemed like this to her, deep and dark blue at the same time.

Anna didn't know exactly when she'd started to see him as anything other than her secret and only friend back then, but she knew that those looks of his had clearly and unequivocally contributed to it, just as they did now.

 

 

"Don't look at me like that." Rather, she turned her head away and took a silent breath, looking down at the little bundle that was still fast asleep, covered up to her neck, only her head visible.

Anna felt her lips part into a soft smile at the sight.

''You have a beautiful daughter and a working relationship with my best friend who is going to need you a lot right now. So it's better if..." The rest of the sentence was forced to remain unfinished as Anna's words were cut off by a warm, gentle hand touching her cheek.

"You're going to run away from me again," the palm rested on her cheek, and a gentle pressure made her look at Michel again.

The man was dangerously close to her face now. His warm breath lightly brushed against her cheek. She gripped the cane that stood between her knees firmly with her other hand.

It was the only thing keeping the man from being even closer to Anna.